Posts Tagged With: passion

The Gift and the Curse

Admittedly, this ‘blog’ has become more of a sounding board for my sporadic, reflective thoughts. This will be one of those posts.

The last few months have been relatively free of any negative emotion (read: anger, sadness, worry). And in these months, I have had little desire to write or drift into much deep thought. However, in typical fashion I have had some of these negative emotions surface in the last week and I have begun digging deep in the ‘thought department’. And now, I am at the point where I return to writing… Some of my best work and ideas have come when I have been in this mildly depressed state. I am not sure if many others agree with this theory, but it is much harder to write with purpose or passion when you are in a numb, apathetic state. It takes emotion to write and the numbness I have had in recent months (years?) has really impacted my ability to write or even ‘think’.

Now it’s not like I have ever had something profound to say. But at least the desire was there.. At least I felt strong enough about things (personal, social, or political) to form coherent thoughts and sentences. It’s a shame it takes feeling like shit for me to consider writing. The Gift and the Curse.

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“If you don’t post more than twice a week, you don’t have a blog.”

It’s time to stretch my writing legs. Like most writers, both amateur and professional, I have some occasional difficulty coming up with interesting topics. When people claim to have writers block, I imagine they are referring to difficulty with interesting topics. Any Joe Shmoe with a liberal arts degree can babble on for extended lengths about things that interest them. The challenge is captivating others, drawing them into those interests and stories.

Okay that’s enough of my prologue.

Has anyone reading this dealt with insomnia? I have had mild forms of it over the past year. Now I never stay up the entire night, but 3 hour nights of sleep are common. I have terrible fits of restlessness: I want to build, write, design, read, workout, play music, etc. My mind is just constantly racing. As a result, I always sleep with a tv or radio turned on in an attempt to drown the fire. Is being a data crunching analyst by morning not satisfying enough to let my mind rest at night? Is it the need to fulfill or act on some untapped passion?

Whatever it is, I don’t think I mind it too much… It reminds me that the light is still on. I’ll figure it out.

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